Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Reality Laws
& Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
& Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
& Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
& Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
& Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
& Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
&Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
& Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
& Law of the Result When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
& Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
& Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
& The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
& Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
& Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
& Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
& Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
& Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
& Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
& Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
Enjoying your job?
It's a new Prison in UK !
Prison vs Work
Just in case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this should make things a little bit clearer.
@ PRISON | @ WORK |
You spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell | you spend the majority of your time |
You get three meals a day fully paid for | you get a break for one meal and |
You get time off for good behavior | you get more work for |
@ PRISON | @ WORK |
You can watch TV and play games | you could get fired for watching |
You get your own toilet | you have to share the toilet with |
They allow your family and friends to visit | you aren't even supposed to speak |
All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required | you get to pay all your expenses to go |
You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out | you spend most of your time wanting |
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William Tell never had it so good
Click and hold to draw the bow back. Let off the button to release the arrow. Use your mouse to control the angle. Not penalized for shooting over the dude, but the results are... well, they're a killer if you shoot low. For that matter, try shooting low a few times.
Awesome game..........