The seven dwarfs always left to go work in the mine early each morning.As always, Snow White stayed home doing her domestic chores.As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their lunch and carry it to the mine.One day as she arrived at the mine with the lunch,she saw that there had been a terrible cave-in.Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White begancalling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had somehow survived.
'Hello!...Hello!' she shouted. 'Can anyone hear me? Hello!'For a long while, there was no answer.Losing hope, Snow White again shouted,'Hello! Is anyone down there?'Just as she was about to give up all hope,she heard a faint voice from deep within the mine, singing . . ...'Vote for Barack Obama! - Vote for Barack Obama!'Snow White fell to her knees, and prayed,'Oh, thank you, God! At least Dopey is still alive...
Friday, March 27, 2009
Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs (A Political Fable)
IF YOU'RE AS OLD AS I AM - THIS IS A RIOT!
STORY:
On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In
my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I
can get something to eat and not have to worry about anyone getting
irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill.
Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go"
Server: "That'll be $1.04. Eat in?"
Me: "No, it's to go." At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back." He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:
Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
Manager: "No. A what?"
Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
Manager: "Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill."
Server: "Yeah, thought so.' He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these. Do you have anything else?'
Me: "Just this fifty, you don't take $2 bills, Why?"
Server: "I don't know."
Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"
Server: "Yeah?"
Me: "So, why won't you take it?"
Server: "Well, hang on a sec." He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'
Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
Server: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change."
Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in here."
Server: "What should I do?"
Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has real money."
Server: "I can't tell him that! You tell him."
Manager: "Just tell him."
Server: "No way! This is weird. I'm going in back."
The manager approaches me and says.
Manager: "I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.
Me: "It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill."
Manager: "We don't take those, either."
Me: "Why not?"
Manager: "I think you know why."
Me: "No really, tell me why."
Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
Me: "What on earth for?"
Manager: "Please, sir."
Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
Manager: "Would you please just leave?"
Me: "No!"
Manager: "Fine have it your way then."
Me: "Hey! That's from Burger King, isn't it?"
At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.
Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
Manager: (whispering) 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money."
Guard: "No kidding! What?"
Manager: "Get this, a two dollar bill."
Guard: "Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?"
Manager: "I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty."
Guard: "Oh, so the fifty's fake!"
Manager: "No, the two dollar bill is."
Guard: "Why would he fake a two dollar bill?"
Manager: "I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
Guard: "Yeah."
Security Guard walks over to me and says.
Guard: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."
Me: "Uh, no."
Guard: "Let me see them."
Me: "Why?"
Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"
Me: At this point I am ready to say, "Sure please," but I want to eat. So I say "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2 bill.'
I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says,
Guard: "Hey Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"
Manager: "It's fake."
Guard: "It doesn't look fake to me."
Manager: "But it's a two dollar bill."
Guard: "Yeah?"
Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"
The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.
Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too.
Just think...those two will be voting soon!
On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In
my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I
can get something to eat and not have to worry about anyone getting
irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill.
Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go"
Server: "That'll be $1.04. Eat in?"
Me: "No, it's to go." At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back." He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:
Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
Manager: "No. A what?"
Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
Manager: "Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill."
Server: "Yeah, thought so.' He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these. Do you have anything else?'
Me: "Just this fifty, you don't take $2 bills, Why?"
Server: "I don't know."
Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"
Server: "Yeah?"
Me: "So, why won't you take it?"
Server: "Well, hang on a sec." He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'
Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
Server: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change."
Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in here."
Server: "What should I do?"
Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has real money."
Server: "I can't tell him that! You tell him."
Manager: "Just tell him."
Server: "No way! This is weird. I'm going in back."
The manager approaches me and says.
Manager: "I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.
Me: "It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill."
Manager: "We don't take those, either."
Me: "Why not?"
Manager: "I think you know why."
Me: "No really, tell me why."
Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
Me: "What on earth for?"
Manager: "Please, sir."
Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
Manager: "Would you please just leave?"
Me: "No!"
Manager: "Fine have it your way then."
Me: "Hey! That's from Burger King, isn't it?"
At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.
Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
Manager: (whispering) 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money."
Guard: "No kidding! What?"
Manager: "Get this, a two dollar bill."
Guard: "Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?"
Manager: "I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty."
Guard: "Oh, so the fifty's fake!"
Manager: "No, the two dollar bill is."
Guard: "Why would he fake a two dollar bill?"
Manager: "I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
Guard: "Yeah."
Security Guard walks over to me and says.
Guard: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."
Me: "Uh, no."
Guard: "Let me see them."
Me: "Why?"
Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"
Me: At this point I am ready to say, "Sure please," but I want to eat. So I say "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2 bill.'
I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says,
Guard: "Hey Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"
Manager: "It's fake."
Guard: "It doesn't look fake to me."
Manager: "But it's a two dollar bill."
Guard: "Yeah?"
Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"
The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue. So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.
Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too.
Just think...those two will be voting soon!
Click here for what Snopes.com has to say about this.
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